Family

Professional Parenting Pessimist

Becoming a parent means eternal warfare between your eternal optimist and your darkest pessimist.The thing of it is, though, there's good reasons to take both sides. Which, of course, makes no one happy.Whenever I would look at any of my…

Young Or Old? Yes

As I sit here typing this, my youngest son, known to many as Hyper Lad1, is standing at my right shoulder and whining.Sorry. Excuse me. I've been informed that it's not whining. He's presenting a cogent, coherent, reasoned, fact-filled argument…

Pet Semetary

I live in fear of the zombie apocalypse.Well, not really. I mean, I'm no more concerned about the dead rising and wandering the Earth as hungry revenants craving only our brains as the next guy.* In most of those scenarios,…

How I Became A Soccer Dad

It's pretty easy for people to make fun of soccer if they've never experienced it. Soccer is often low scoring with long periods of little to no action and often ends in a draw (tie). "The Simpsons," summed up professional…

Urban Chickens

The cluck came out of nowhere.I looked around. Other than Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, standing at attention with his entire body quivering in a barely held back need to chase, I didn't see anything out…

Fatal Error, 414

I've been running around like a crazy person lately. I am so overwhelmed between my career and my family that I'm forgetting really important details. People at work can tell me something and ten minutes later I have no memory.…

Curse Of The Open Mouth

Well, bleep me.Bleep bleeping bleepity bleep bleeping bleep bleep-bleep bleeping bleeped bleeping bleep it.*Cursing is . . . problematic for me.As both a writer and someone who prides himself on having a rational mind, I know that so-called curse words…

Road Rage

Calling it road rage would have been like calling Paul Blart: Mall Cop merely a bad movie.*I used to scream and yell and beat on the steering wheel, jumping up and down in my seat while my legs made running…

A Meteorite Barely Missed A Skydiver

The internet can be a place of infinite wonder.Take, for instance, this. I've never thought It would be a good thing if I could see a video of a meteorite barely missing a skydiver as said skydiver falls through the air…

Looking Back With Perfect Vision

Would you do it all over again? It's a question I've been getting more and more often these days. I've been doing the stay-at-home-dude thing for so long that the kid I started staying home for full time when he…

April Showers Means Games for Hours

When the April rain is heavy or it's too wet to go outside and play in the backyard, as a parent you have a few options. While I would prefer everyone take a nap, that rarely happens. If my boys…

MOTHER Failure!

I forgot my son at school yesterday. First time that's happened. Oh boy, that kid was mad! I totally forgot that he had a club meeting until 5:45 p.m.I mean I completely and absolutely blanked... there was no feeling in…

Secret Superheroes: Dads Dare Danger

Superheroes are everywhere. I’m not just talking about the superheroes you read in comic books, or see on movie screens or on television. Although, come to think of it, those pretty much are omnipresent these days. I’m actually talking about…

Sex & Sensibility

Sex.Not only might it make a great first line of just about any written piece on the internet*, but it's also one of the most important aspects of any adult, coupled relationship.Whether you're having sex or not. If you're having…