What a Boo-tiful Day!

Don’t let the face of stunning manliness and beauty you see in my column picture fool you. Beneath this handsome brow lurks the soul of a monster and this is the month when I get to let him out.

It’s also the month when all of you stay-at-home dudes can bring your inner monsters out to play with the little monsters lovely children we all love so much and would never disparage who live in your house.

Ah, yes. It’s Halloween, the greatest single day of the year.

I’ve always loved getting to dress up as someone I’m not, or maybe someone I wish I could be, and running around the neighborhood, hanging out with similar-minded (or at least similar emotioned as  not too many of us were thinking around that time) guys and gals.

Despite all the years, all the gorilla suits, the pirate eye-patches, the swords, the gorilla suits, all the torn shirts and green body paint and delusional beliefs that I was or could be a Hulk, not a Blob . . . In spite of all that, I never had more Halloween fun than I did after I started spraying out spawn with my darling bride, She Who Must Be Commented Upon Whenever Possible.

Nothing beats walking the neighborhood, transformed to ghoulish, taking it in through the eyes of a young child for whom every costume is a new reality, and every cackle inspires a shriek of joy.

Pumpkins with goofy smiles and gooey, chocolate-smeared mouths. Land-walking lobsters with an inexplicable hunger for Nerd Ropes. A penguin barely able to walk. A family of Incredible superheroes.

So many memories. So many good times. My advice? Take a lot of pictures. I mean, a lot. Like so many good things during childhood, it won’t last long and will be over before you know it.

A scary thought, but it’ll fit right in with Halloween. And so will that mask you’re wea— What do you mean you’re not wearing a mask? You mean that’s your. . .

Never mind.

Gotta go. See you next time.

Richared E.D. Jones and Barry Robert Ozer are the authors of the fast and funny how-to book for new dads “A Dude’s Guide to Babies: The New Dad’s Playbook.”