PARENT TO KNOW: Corie Dulken

Corie Dulken is a massage therapist, skin care specialist, and owner of Nature’s Spa in South Charlotte. The mom of three, who has always prioritized her physical and emotional health, found a lump in her breast in 2020 that was eventually diagnosed as breast cancer. She has gratefully completed her treatment, but continues to crusade for the critical importance of reducing stress in our bodies in order to minimize disease.

Here, Corie talks how our bodies hold emotion and trauma, never breaking the hug with her children, and the need for solitary sleep.

Tell us about your family. How many children do you have and what are their ages?

I am a grateful mom to three children who are all 7 years apart, which is a blessing I never thought to consider.  My oldest is 26 and he currently works full time at the spa with me; my magnificent middle is nearing 19 and is thriving at UNCW; and my youngest is 12 who is learning the business of skin care simply from being educated on what not to do (courtesy of social media).

It’s clear from Nature’s Spa website, that you see your services as being more than indulgent relaxation, but also an important means for emotional healing. How do you see people benefit from bodywork in that way?

It seems hard to believe, and even I struggled to accept it, but our bodies hold emotion, energy, trauma and an endless myriad of experiences that impact how our bodies function.  It is held in our organs, in our soft tissue and even in our life fluid such as our blood and lymph. Massage, body wraps and facials are by nature indulgent and luxurious, yes, but they are also so spectacularly beneficial.  Nurturative touch with an intent to catalyze healing is not only underrated, it is woefully untapped for true health purposes.

Has your breast cancer diagnosis changed your perspective on parenting in any way?

I have always been of the belief that one should never break the hug when it comes to our children, and it’s sort of like a metaphor for how I have viewed my role as a parent. I still hold that belief, but I have also come to understand that if I genuinely have nothing left to give at the end of a hard day or I’m in a not-so-good place, putting on a good face and muscling through isn’t always the answer.  I have learned to communicate my truths to my children and how to ask for grace and maybe even help.   I have learned that taking care of myself is just as important as taking care of them. I want them to see how important the care of self really is.

Hardest part about being a mom?

Watching them grow up and grow out of those longer hugs, goofy hand-crafted cards or words spoken utterly wrong.  Seeing the skin on my hands grow thinner with more wrinkles, knowing that time always marches on.

Favorite part about being a mom?

Watching them grow up and grow into magical beings who will one day hold my weak and wrinkly hand as we recount the memories that bind us.

Biggest parenting fail to date?

Not enough family vacations and I wish I planned more one-on-one trips for each of my kids.  I think about that a lot as I look back at all the years spent building a business. I don’t necessarily have deep regret, I just wish there could have been more!

Best parenting advice you ever received?

PICK. YOUR. BATTLES. I would also add “Love and Limits”.

Marriage advice for new parents?

Ugh, this is probably not going to be a popular sentiment, but I firmly believe that there should be a room that is designed for deep comfort, soundless sleep and it should be available for one to rest in alone. But, in order for this to work it helps to have rock solid agreements as to how that room is used. I do see it as a way to escape and find your calm in the midsts of a relational storm, but only as a quick and temporary fix.

Phase you feared your child would never grow out of?

TikTok dances and unannounced FaceTime conversations with their friends as they walk around the house.

Favorite way to spend an unscheduled day with your kids in Charlotte?

We love the greenway! We love to walk with the dogs and absorb the energy of those in nature and we love to walk alone where deep conversations tend to happen organically.  We also love Freedom Park, there’s just something about the vibe out there that makes us feel really connected to the family side of Charlotte.

You have a whole day to yourself. What do you do?

Read a good book, sleep as much as I can and cook a lavish meal.

Favorite Charlotte restaurant?

Hands down Futo Buta.  I am not fully certain why, but all of my kids love, love ramen.  My husband and I are both very food driven and tend to enjoy trying out all the places. We especially like going to Optimist Hall where our inability to make a decision is welcome.

Favorite place to shop in Charlotte?

It used to be Black Lion, but I haven’t had a chance to check them out since they moved so I tend to sneak away to The Sleepy Poet or Nadeau or if I get the time I like to peruse SouthPark Mall.

What local amenity/retailer/service could you not live without?

Pasta and Provisions on Park Road, which is right across from Brawley’s (great beer) and not too far from Rock Salt for when I am craving oysters.  That little nook of town is where I frequent.