ASK A MOM: Traveling with a toddler, professional attire for moms, and where to stash your sweets

Molly Grantham tackles your parenting questions in this ongoing series

Q: I am planning a few trips with my toddler over the next few months and am nervous about how it’s going to go. I have been reading articles and watching videos, but would love to hear real advice from a parent who has actually done it. How do you keep them entertained during a flight? What are your must-have items for the airport and plane? How do you handle naps and snacks on the go? Any stroller or carrier recommendations for travel? Any advice, big or small, would be super helpful.

A: When my oldest was four and middle was 14 months, I traveled with them alone on a plane. It was hell. I wrote about the trip—which included exploding Goldfish crackers, my 4-year-old swearing loudly, and the baby napping in the aircraft aisle—in my first book, Small Victories. (Chapter 14, if you’re looking for a good laugh.) All that’s to say, my advice isn’t what you want… but Anna Lucke’s advice is gold. She’s a pilot at American Airlines. She’s in airports all over the world multiple times a month, so she has seen and knows every trick, tip, and tool possible.

She’s also a Charlotte mom of two and one of only 5% of female pilots worldwide. (Shameless plug: Charlotte magazine featured Anna in this month’s issue. She’s super interesting. It’s a great read.)

“Toddlers are hands down the hardest age for travel because all they want to do is move and not care about a seatbelt sign,” Anna says. “Yet, they’re our kids. We have to travel with them. So, might as well make the best of it.”

Here are her suggestions:

1. Give yourself enough time. You don’t need more stress than you’re already facing. Stressed parents = stressed kids.

2. WEAR THEM OUT in the terminal. Let them walk, run, explore. Airports are FUN when you’re that age. Moving walkways, airplanes, bag loaders, baggage trucks. Richard Scarry’s classic book, A Day at the Airport, is a great read before you get there. It can be especially valuable on the plane if you must stay seated; the pictures illustrate things right outside their window. You can make a visual scavenger hunt to try and find them.

3. Bring lots of snacks and games for entertainment while the aircraft is taxiing. Then they don’t think about the fact they can’t get up. As for specific snacks, bring whatever doesn’t burden you too much or let them choose new ones you buy at the airport.

4. When in the air, always observe the seatbelt sign, but get up when you can. On the ground, there is no give. The airplane has to stop and set the brakes if any passenger is standing.

5. Bring a game they haven’t yet seen to hold their attention. There are always movies/TVs as well if you’re okay with that.

6. Naps… if you wear them out in the terminal, this might just happen. I never worried too much about my kids’ schedules at that age—trying to keep them on track during travel days exhausted me too much. Just let them sleep when they’re tired, knowing they might not.

7. I see a ton of parents pulling ride-on suitcases through the airport. Kids love them and parents appreciate moving a little faster. Just practice at home so they understand how it works! When they aren’t riding on the luggage, they can roll their own suitcase (back to wearing them out).

“The best advice is just knowing things might get a little crazy,” Anna says. “Your toddler might act out a little, or a lot, and other passengers might look at you funny. But most fellow travelers have been exactly where you are and understand. It’s okay to take a deep breath and count down until you land. The flight won’t last forever.”

Good luck!

Q: I LOVED the green 2-piece set you wore to the Bet On Yourself Summit and want to know 1) where you got it, and 2) where you find cute work attire that doesn’t cost a fortune. I am a mom of two and work full time, so I don’t have the time or patience to shop and put outfits together every week…or take everything to the dry cleaners after. I need clothes I can wear in the boardroom and the carpool line, LOL.

A: The dreamy two-piece outfit from Bet On Yourself Summit 2.0 is from local designer Daniel Gonzalez. His boutique studio is in Myers Park. I’ve known Daniel for a long time and say from personal experience, he has slow-rolled his company’s growth, stuck to his brand, and expanded only when it’s made sense. He creates classic-with-a-twist pieces that make a woman stand out and feel gorgeous. I love his clothes. I’m also really happy for him that his designs are now worldwide and was HONORED to wear that two-piece on an important day. (The green is part of his new fall collection.)

Find him on Instagram at @danielgonzalez.studio.

As for daily professional clothes that also work for carpool…two things:

1. Who cares how you’re dressed in carpool line? I’ve done pre-K pick-up un-showered; I’ve also done it in a black-tie gala gown. Your day and schedule is your day and schedule. It’s no one else’s business how you’re dressed, or why.

2. Rent the Runway. The truth is, I hate shopping. I don’t have time to peruse stores and can’t always tell fit from online shopping. I also don’t want to spend too much on clothing that a child will accidentally ruin. Plus, I fluctuate 10 pounds and don’t want to buy new wardrobes every time my body shifts. With Rent the Runway, I pick a certain number of items I want a month, mail them back when I’m done, and fill that slot with something else. No shipping costs. No drycleaning costs. Sometimes at night, instead of scrolling IG before bed, I scroll RTR and “heart” new items for my favorites list so when a slot opens again, I can go to my favorites to choose, which is easier on my brain than looking at 15,000+ items at once.

There are a ton of similar companies to RTR. Others might work better for you. Don’t be scared to try a clothing company that sends items directly to your door. Most don’t have contracts, so if you don’t like the program or clothes you receive, you can stop using them.

Also, I have coupon codes for RTR. Email me (molly@mollygrantham.com), and I’m happy to send you one. FYI: I don’t work for them. I just believe in the business and I’m happy to share a discount with anyone.

If you do like to shop and want to stay local, my wallet appreciates J.T. Posh, an upscale women’s consignment boutique on Park Road. Tons of inventory. High-end brands. Clothes in great shape. (Its IG is also fun to follow: @JTPosh.)

Q: I’m not an almond mom or anything—my kids are allowed to eat sweets—but they keep eating *all* the cookies and chocolates before I can even get one. So far they’ve sniffed out all my good hiding spots (back of the pantry, spice cabinet, in my desk) within a day or two. How do I combat these little land piranhas?

A: I laughed out loud at “not an almond mom.” Julianne Guzik, a Population Health Consultant in Charlotte and mom of two, laughed more at “land piranhas.”

“I love it,” she says. “What a great phrase! This type of thing tends to happen with ice cream in my house. As for a solution, focus on setting boundaries and learning to share with others instead of eliminating (or hiding) the sweets altogether. And note that how you approach this—and the results—will depend on your kids’ ages. Here are a few strategies you can try:

• When treats are available, be clear about how they are allocated. For example, “Everyone gets four cookies from this batch. Once you’ve reached your limit, you can’t have any more.”
• Promote sharing: Encourage your children to ask if others have had a chance to enjoy the treat before they indulge in seconds, or before they take the last one.
• Designate an area for everyone’s personal treats: In my house, we have a cabinet where we each have our own little treat basket. Candy from different holidays gets dispersed to those baskets, and we all only eat from our own unless someone chooses to share. The kids are respectful of each other’s baskets because they expect others to respect theirs.

Guzik says incorporating these strategies can ensure that everyone (even mom!) is allowed some sweet indulgences.

That’s a wrap on May’s column. To all the parents out there hanging on by a thread: Keep going. May-cember is usually a wreck. And remember that the world won’t end if you miss a “theme day” at any child’s school. Just keep carrying on.

Send your questions for next month here.

Until then,
—Molly

MOLLY GRANTHAM is a four-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, speaker, author, and mom of three. Follow her on Facebook or Instagram, or visit mollygrantham.com.