8 Tips From a Family Attorney for Navigating Co-Parenting More Effectively

Insight and tools to managing the stress and complexities of divorce

Co-parenting is a challenging yet essential process that separated or divorced parents must navigate to ensure their child’s well-being. For Jennifer Moore, a board-certified specialist in family law and partner at Marcellino & Tyson PLLC, effective co-parenting is personal. Having grown up in a divorced family, Moore witnessed firsthand how a strong support system can help a child manage the stress and complexities of divorce. It inspired her to pursue a career as a family law attorney, where she dedicates herself to helping clients through the difficult journey of divorce and co-parenting. “At the end of the day, it’s about ensuring that your child thrives, no matter what,” she says. “Navigating co-parenting is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right strategies and support, parents can work together to create a stable, loving environment for their children.”

With this insight, Moore offers eight essential tips for navigating co-parenting effectively.

Seek legal advice early. “Even if the relationship between parents is amicable, involving a lawyer early on can help with things like drafting an agreement that preserves the positive aspects of the co-parenting relationship and prevents future conflicts,” Moore says. It’s important to establish legal boundaries before significant issues arise, such as new relationships or changes in the child’s needs.

Create a clear co-parenting plan. “Having a plan in writing—whether through a court order or a mutual agreement—is crucial,” she says. This plan should clearly outline custody arrangements, including exchange times, locations, and responsibilities for the child’s activities. A written agreement helps avoid conflicts by providing a clear reference point, allowing parents to work together while having a fallback plan if disagreements arise.

Establish enforceable boundaries. “Clear and enforceable boundaries within a co-parenting agreement are essential for maintaining order and minimizing disputes,” Moore says. She advises parents to seek legal counsel to ensure all potential issues—such as decisions about the child’s education and medical care—are addressed in the agreement. “An enforceable court order can protect these boundaries and provide a mechanism for resolving disputes if one parent fails to comply.”

Prioritize clear communication. “I recommend parents use written communication methods like text or email to minimize misunderstandings,” Moore says. Apps like Our Family Wizard can help keep the focus solely on the child’s needs. Additionally, Moore says using the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm) method of communication can prevent escalation. For high-conflict situations, a parenting coordinator can guide and mediate interactions.

Manage disagreements about parenting styles. Each household may operate differently, but Moore says if the child’s well-being is not compromised, it’s important to respect each parent’s approach. When legal custody is shared, decision-making responsibilities should be clearly outlined, with tie-breaker options or mediation strategies in place to handle disagreements. “Sometimes, one parent has always been the decision-maker, which can lead to conflict,” Moore says. “It’s important to establish clear roles to alleviate this.”

Consider co-parenting counseling. “Counseling is a great resource to help parents develop similar parenting approaches, ease transitions for children, and improve overall communication,” Moore says. She often integrates counseling into co-parenting plans, particularly when conflicts arise.

Balance flexibility with consistency. “Maintaining a consistent routine is essential for a child’s stability,” Moore says, “but flexibility is also necessary to accommodate unexpected changes.” While a solid, written schedule is important, parents should remain open to adjustments. However, any deviations from the plan should be mutually agreed upon and documented to avoid misunderstandings. “Consistency is key, but life happens. Being flexible while keeping the child’s needs at the forefront is critical.”

Protect children from conflict. “Provisions can be included in the co-parenting agreement to prevent parents from discussing legal matters or speaking negatively about each other in front of the child,” Moore says. “This is done to keep children from getting caught in the middle of parental conflicts.” Additionally, involving a therapist who specializes in child-focused counseling can provide children a safe outlet to express their feelings and maintain their mental health during the transition. “The impact of conflict on children can be profound. Protecting them from it should always be a top priority.”

AMANDA LEA is a Charlotte-based writer whose work has appeared in a variety of publications. You can find her at linkedin.com/in/aelea.