Toddlers Are Part-time Nudists


Sorry for the lack of regular posts over the last month or so. I haven’t been able to concentrate due to my anticipation over the royal baby. Ok, that’s not even close to true. I had this idea that somehow my schedule would be easier in the summer and I could get more done. What was I thinking? That hasn’t been the case at all.

The picture you see (left) is of our two-year-old Chase enjoying naked time. He’s playing with the video monitor in our master bedroom after some time at the pool or possibly a bath. My memory isn’t too good. Our almost five-year-old Tyler says it “looks like he’s plugged in,” and he’s right. This is the kind of photo that will embarrass Chase when a girlfriend comes over in about 15 years.

Both of our boys love being naked. It could be my fault that they love it so much. Let me say this now: WE ARE NOT NUDISTS. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m sure most of their love of being in the buff is just a phase and a chance for them to get their freedom (and our attention) but I do wonder. You see, like my friend Homer J. Simpson I am not a fan of pants. Pants are hot and uncomfortable and I only wear them when I must.

Being a local television news anchor in this day in age requires wearing pants more than ever. Back in the 80s when I toured WFRV in Green Bay, Wisconsin I learned that most anchors wear shorts under the anchor desk. It’s one of many reasons I wanted to work in TV. Today, it’s popular to show anchors standing at giant monitors all over the news set making pants a necessity. The moment I walk in the door when I get home from walk, the pants come off. I’ve gotten in some trouble with my beautiful, patient wife as my pants end up on the love seat where I enter the living room. Now, I tend to get up to our bedroom to lose the pants and change into running shorts and a t-shirt. On hot summer days, I often go shirtless for a while. Think about that image. You’re welcome ladies.

My habit has caused Tyler to copy me. If I decide I’m too hot for a shirt, he does too. “You’re right dad, it’s too hot in here,” he’ll say. When we get home from church on Sunday, I run upstairs to change and so do the boys. Chase will take it a step further once in a while. The shorts come off and so does the diaper. We don’t let that go on for too long. I have no interest in cleaning up after accidents on the floor. Luckily, we haven’t had any public indecent exposure incidents yet although the Papa John’s delivery guy has almost gotten an eyeful on more than one occassion.

If you ever happen to come over to my house, I’ll try to make sure I’m clothed and the kids are too. You may want to give me five minutes notice though. Is your toddler a little nudist? Tell me about it in the comments section below. I also welcome comments from others who hate pants.

WCCB News Rising Host Derek James balances a full-time job in the glamorous world of television news (including a 2:30am wake up and stale coffee) along with managing chaos every afternoon for 4 year-old Tyler and 2 year-old Chase.

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