PARENT TO KNOW: Nidhi McVicar

Nidhi McVicar is a new Charlotte transplant, by way of Philadelphia. The mom of twins relocated this summer to serve as the new Head of Upper School at Charlotte Country Day.

Here, she talks learning to navigate Charlotte roads, her ultimate parenting goal, and the importance of being open about the challenges of parenting.

Tell us about your family. How many children do you have and what are their ages?

We don’t have a lot of extended family, so Jamie and I were happy to be blessed with our twins. India and Winston are 11, and I’m happy to watch the ups and downs of their sibling bonding!

As a newcomer, what excites your most about Charlotte? And, what have you found most perplexing so far?

I’ve been lucky to have such a warm welcome from our new school community. The parents and faculty at Charlotte Country Day School have been incredibly caring to us as newcomers. I also love how many lovely grocery stores there are to choose from in the Charlotte area! I only know how to get to a few places so far, but I am not sure I will ever figure out why the road names change for no apparent reason. (Edit note: we have an answer for that.) I have to use navigation for just about everything!

Hardest part about being a mom?

The real (and self-created) guilt. I don’t think that ever goes away.

Favorite part about being a mom?

Watching your kids develop their own sense of humor and their own opinions about the world. That’s the true work of parenting, and although it’s sometimes uncomfortable, it’s the ultimate goal.

Biggest parenting fail to date?

How much space do you have? I definitely think I’ve used too much “colorful language” around my kids from time to time, but they seem to know the boundaries, at least for now.

Best parenting advice you ever received?

Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides. This is so important, particularly in the age of social media. Every parent is navigating their own challenges and their own reality. I think talking about how hard and stressful it really is destigmatizes the hard times for everyone on this journey.

Marriage advice for new parents?

I’m not one to give marriage advice, but I will say that finding time to continue to invest in your adult relationships across the board is a good antidote for the challenges of parenting.

Parenting support you could not live without?

Friendships and time away are so key to maintaining mental and emotional health. I cherish my time with my friends who are parents and also the people in my life who support me in other ways.

Phase you feared your child would never grow out of? 

This is a tough one. Every phase is a season that has both plusses and minuses. Diapers, teething, toddlers, tweens (where we are now). I’m trying to not wish it away and just take the ups and downs of each phase in stride, knowing one day the only phase left will be adulthood!

You have a whole day to yourself. What do you do?

Wake up late, find a great brunch spot, maybe do some shopping/browsing (aka running errands), and then read a good book in the sun before dinner at a lovely restaurant. So I guess the theme here is no cooking!

What local amenity/retailer/service are you desperate to find?

A great and relatively inexpensive foot massage!