Living With Your Children

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Do you ever stop to think, what type of parent am I? Although there are several different styles of parenting, differences in parenting styles is often a problem for both parents and children. Often differences in parenting allow a child to use one parent against the other to get the answer he/she wants.

 

When children are labeled defiant and disruptive, parents often seek out counseling where they request their child to be “fixed” without their involvement. A child misbehaving is often a symptom of a family problem. For example if a parent frequently yells and tends to use corporal punishment with their children, this style of parenting often results in children having poor self-esteem and behaving defiant towards authority figures. Individual and family counseling is needed in order to resolve a child’s misbehavior. 

 

Winning cooperation begins when your child is born and continues as they grow older. There are many ways to develop your relationship with your child. Some ingredients include good listening, support and nurturing for your child. Specific ways to build a relationship with your child may be through having family dinners, family activities and participating in your child’s activities outside the home. The last ingredient is for parents to take time for themselves in order to be present when your child needs you. Living with your child simultaneously requires separation at times from your child.

 

When a child begins to walk they often walk and/or run away from you. When your child turns 2, his or her favorite word is often “no.” These early years as a parent are often exhausting, but how you respond can have a profound effect on your child.

• Be clear to your child. Instructions should be simple and logical. Stoves are hot and easily burn, come to mommy when you need to use the stove.

• Be patient. A child needs repetition to learn a skill and/or rule. Expect that a task/rule needs to be repeated multiple times before a child masters it.

• Be firm. When you give in, or change your mind, the rule you teach is you give in or change your mind. If you are not consistent, your child does not learn to be kind, to share nicely and to listen.

 

While parents do not have to be identical they should agree to discuss matters between them and come to an agreement about what to tell their child. The goal is to find common ground to learn to support each other with their children.

 

Nadia Antoszyk is a licensed social worker who works with children and families at Elemental Healing in Charlotte.