If the NSA is Watching or Listening…
Thanks to Edward Snowden (the real-life Carmen Sandiego) we have learned the National Security Agency is able to listen to our phone calls, read our emails and text messages and who knows what else. Some have even speculated that “Big Brother” might be watching or listening to us in our homes through our TVs and computer microphones. Not sure I’m buying that one. If they’re spying on the James house, here’s a sampling of what they’d hear from me and my wife and our two boys, Tyler (4) and Chase (2).
ME: “What did you do at camp today?”
TYLER: “We played tag.”
ME: “What else?”
TYLER: “Uh. How about I just concentrate on my game? I’ll tell you about my day at dinner. I’m playing Candy Crush right now.”
ME TO DAWSON: “Dawson, leave it. No, leave it. Don’t. Dawson, drop it. Drop it, Dawson. Dawson. Drop it! DAWSSSOOOOOOOON! Ugh! We’re starting to run out of Legos for him to eat.”
*Editors Note: Dawson is a chocolate lab, not a human child.
ME TO BEAUTIFUL, PATIENT WIFE: “You’re going to get the spinning pinwheel when you open iPhoto because the computer is five years-old and we have nearly 10,000 pictures on there.”
ME: “Do you want cheese & crackers?”
CHASE: “NO!”
ME: “Do you want peanut butter?”
CHASE: “NO!”
ME: “Do you want noodles?”
CHASE: “NO! NO! NO!”
ME: “Do you want me to stop asking?”
CHASE: “YES!”
TYLER: “Daddy, I have diarrhea.”
ME: “No, that’s not diarrhea.”
TYLER: “Yes, it is.”
ME: “No. I don’t think so buddy.”
TYLER: “But it’s green.”
ME: “Just because it’s green doesn’t mean it’s…why am I explaining this? Trust me, it’s not.”
TYLER: “Okay, but I’m pretty sure it is.”
ME TO TYLER AND CHASE: “…but I’d venture to say you ought to be tickled ten times a day. So please don’t you move, you better stay putsie, my first stop will be your…” (page turn) “Your adorable footsie!” (kids laughing)
ME: “What do you wanna watch?”
BEAUTIFUL, PATIENT WIFE: “I don’t care.”
ME: “The Mentalist or Elementary?”
BEAUTIFUL, PATIENT WIFE: “Which one are we further behind on?”
ME: “The Mentalist. Ooh and this one’s a Red John episode.”
BEAUTIFUL, PATIENT WIFE: “That’s fine.”
WCCB News Rising Host Derek James balances a full-time job in the glamorous world of television news (including a 2:30am wake up and stale coffee) along with managing chaos every afternoon for 4 year-old Tyler and 2 year-old Chase.
