THRIVE: Traditions That Make Room for Everyone
The holidays can be a sensory explosion—and not just for children. I’m talking about parents, too. As soon as the holiday season kicks off, your to-do list goes from 1 million to 10 million items, with shorter deadlines and more stress. Prioritizing family time can easily get lost in the mix.
What can you do as a parent of neurodivergent children to ensure this time is enjoyable and memorable? To start, you need to plan ahead. Family traditions are especially meaningful for neurodivergent kids when they’re predictable, sensory-friendly, and inclusive of each child’s unique needs.
Cue the Cheer
We used to start our season with a family pumpkin-picking trip to a local farm. When my kids were younger, it was the perfect sensory exploration activity. We loved those days, but as my kids have gotten older, we’ve been able to add more indoor activities that are just as fulfilling. The goal is to establish a routine that sets the tone for all the changes the holiday season will bring. Amid the chaos, you can still make a routine that signals the start of the holiday season to your children.
Set the Stage
The traditions I’ve established for my family have created wonderful memories and allowed us to navigate the busy holiday schedule with surprising ease. As your children grow, it’s important to involve them in the process. When we stay home for Thanksgiving, I let my kids decide what they want to eat so I don’t prepare a bunch of food no one appreciates. Having a neurodivergent child with different sensory texture needs around food can make daily meals feel like a burden, let alone holiday meals. Some other ideas include:
- Choose-Your-Own-Décor Day: Let your child pick a space or theme, like decorating their own mini tree or a window display.
- Visual Countdown Calendars: Create a holiday countdown with pictures, Velcro cards, or a dry-erase calendar to help kids anticipate changes in routines and look forward to special events.
- Build-A-Playlist Tradition: Let each family member add their favorite holiday songs to an annual playlist and play it during low-stress times—not just parties.
Flip the Switch on Holiday Mode
Preparing for and coordinating every ritual can feel overwhelming. Take family pictures, for instance: It’s a 30-60-minute process that takes months to coordinate: finding a family photographer, ordering outfits in time, coming up with a theme, and anticipating the weather to dress accordingly. If pictures aren’t your thing, many other activities require less coordination and may not be weather-dependent. Here are some of my local favorites:
Children’s Theatre of Charlotte
The 2025-26 season has a number of shows leading up to the holidays:
- The Invisible Boy: Oct 11-Nov 2
- Bessie Coleman, Fearless and Free: Nov 15-16
- Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer: Nov 22-Dec 23
- Topsy-Turvy Cinderella: Jan 10-25
EpicFest Charlotte Mecklenburg Library
This free literary festival on November 8 connects families with authors and books, offering a full day of fun, learning, and inspiration at ImaginOn.
The Southern Christmas Show is a beloved holiday tradition for many families and friends across the region and ranks as one of the most popular holiday events in the country. The show features more than 30 shops, decorated designer rooms, freshly cut and adorned Christmas trees, miniature displays, model railroads, and, of course, Santa Claus. Check it out at the Park Expo and Conference Center November 13-23.
Charlotte Holiday Market & Food Festival
Experience the joy of the holiday season at this exciting two-day event. Bring your family and friends to the Park Expo Center December 6 and 7 and enjoy live entertainment, festive activities, and a warm, cheerful atmosphere.
See Carowinds transform into a holiday wonderland November 28 through January 3. Explore themed areas, enjoy live entertainment, experience festive shows, and delight in select rides.
Whatever you choose to do this holiday season, remember that its primary purpose is to connect and not to become overwhelmed.
BEA MOISE is a board-certified cognitive specialist, author, neurodiversity coach, and consultant for both individuals and businesses, a featured expert for NBC News, and the neurodivergent expert for Verizon. Follow her UNIQUE parenting channel on YouTube or on Instagram @beamoiseauthor.
