Cosmetic Surgery For Moms: 5 Things to Consider Before You Go Under The Knife

No one is more deserving of cosmetic surgery than a mom. We sacrificed our bodies in pregnancy and breastfeeding in ways that can be tough, if not impossible, to reverse. Many of us have also fallen into the habit of putting ourselves last, letting self-care and the maintenance of our aesthetic selves wane in favor of other priorities.

Opting for a cosmetic procedure can be an act of recommitting to ourselves. For a mom, it can also be a frightening decision fraught with guilt.

Earlier this year, I had the upper blepharoplasty I’d been putting off for years for many of the reasons mentioned above. But it wasn’t my first procedure since becoming a mom, and it likely won’t be the last.

Dr. Gaurav Bharti, a board-certified plastic surgeon at H/K/B Cosmetic Surgery, is my go-to doctor. He hears scrutiny or judgement about his industry, but he notes that what critics fail to see is the impact cosmetic procedures can have on a person’s quality of life. “Plastic surgery is not just about vanity,” he says. “Especially for moms, it can actually be about improving form and function. And it literally revolutionizes their everyday life.”

As a fellow parent (to four daughters), he and I chatted about the specific factors moms should consider before going under the knife.

What will recovery look like?

This is a question for anyone undergoing a procedure, but moms have a few more things to consider than simply when they can return to normal activities. Some questions you should ask your doctor and yourself:

How long until you can pick up your child?

For facial procedures, will your kids be frightened by the sight of you?

Is your partner willing and able to take on all of your responsibilities? How long will you need that support?

Dr. Bharti often encounters moms who delay procedures, rationalizing that they’ll wait as long as possible and undergo one major makeover. “I encourage patients to go for gradual, small changes and improvements,” he says. This minimizes recovery periods and is a less drastic change in appearance.

What will you tell your kids?

Mommy being in bed or relaxing on the couch all day might be more jarring to your children than your bandages. Are you going to be honest about what you are having done and why? If not, what do you plan on telling them?

Timing

There are two time considerations that factor in for moms: The timing of the actual procedure and the age of your children when you have it.

“For moms, there will never be a perfect time,” Dr. Bharti says. Instead of looking for the right time, moms should evaluate what might be the best time.

In terms of the timeframe for the procedure, it’s important to consider your recovery needs. If you have a surgery during the summer, your kids will be home. Will they allow you to rest? Will they have the ability to understand your limitations?

Once you nail down the best season to have a procedure, consider what day you might schedule. While it might be easier to have a surgery done on a Friday for your caretaker’s schedule, that also means the kids will be home all day on the first days of recovery.

Another time-specific consideration unique to moms: You’ll most likely need to report to surgery in the early morning hours. When I had my surgery, I had to leave the house at 5:30 a.m. Finding someone to be there when the kids wake up and get them off to school can be a challenge if you don’t have family nearby.

Also consider your kids’ ages when deciding on certain surgeries. It might be challenging to have facial surgery when kids are little, as you’ll look somewhat frightening. Conversely, something like a breast augmentation might be harder to explain to older kids who will likely be unenthusiastic about their mom improving her bust.

Before and after results of upper bleph.

What message are you sending?

There are two ways to ponder the impact of a mom getting cosmetic surgery: Is there harm in potentially setting a superficial example that reinforces value in the way we physically look?  Or, is there harm in hating something about yourself and projecting that insecurity onto your kids?

The first presupposes that your child will have an inner dialogue and assign meaning about your surgery. The more intense and dramatic your surgery, the more possible that might be.

But they are more likely to receive messages about beauty from things that they see and feel on a regular basis. So if you are a mom who is constantly tugging on her clothes, covering up areas that are uncomfortable for you, or lamenting about things you can’t wear or don’t like because of some aspect of your face or body, that might leave more of an imprint on your kids than something temporary like a surgical recovery.

Do the rewards outweigh the risks?

A surgical procedure of any kind comes with its risks. For a cosmetic procedure, there is the added risk that you do not achieve your desired outcome, or even a negative outcome.

For most people, especially parents, the scariest risk involved with surgery is undergoing general anesthesia. And depending upon the procedure, that might be required. But I was surprised to learn about the range of sedation options.

“The truth is a lot of procedures can be done under local or “awake” anesthesia,” Dr. Bharti says. “It really depends on the procedure and what the patient is comfortable with.”

Learn Your Options

If you are a mom considering surgery, or have a nagging concern, schedule a consultation. For many years, I struggled to conceal the hot dog sized scar tissue lump under my c-section incision. I assumed the only way to rectify that was a tummy tuck, something I wasn’t willing to undergo. Thankfully, I mentioned it to Dr. Bharti and was surprised to learn I didn’t require a tummy tuck at all. In about 20 minutes, and under local sedation, he was able to reopen my incision, scoop out the scar tissue, and stitch me back up with a smaller, flat, and far less noticeable scar.

Every mom must do what’s best for her and her family. But what is more important than having optimum quality of life? A cosmetic procedure might be expensive, and it might not even be necessary. But having functional limitations or feeling bad about yourself is considerably more costly.