Fielding Questions From Kids About Athletes Gone Wrong
A quick glance at news headlines or a scroll through the news channels seems to bring up yet another front page story about athletes making questionable decisions. From hearing about "fake" classes, to Title IX concerns, to the most recent rash of news reporting acts of family violence, it can appear that the sports world gotten out of control, with a drastic need for change. And as there are fewer heroes for young children than professional athletes, parents can often find themselves fielding questions from their young ones about the most recent news report about their favorite sports star. Here are a couple of helpful hints to better direct those conversations.
• Use the opportunity as a platform for important dialogue. News reports about your "favorite" athlete, and follow up questions asked by curious young voices can offer a chance to engage young people in discussions about healthy relationships, appropriate ways to handle anger and conflict, the danger of taking "short-cuts", as well as effective ways to communicate. Additionally, depending on age, it can offer a chance to talk about issues in society as a whole. Interpersonal violence is a national—and global—problem, not an "athlete" problem. In our increasingly technology driven world, there are times when we need to be more intentional in the lessons we teach about communication and healthy relationships, so encourage the questions and be willing to have a conversation.
• Discuss the pros and cons of elevating others to "superhuman" status. It's natural for young people to identify their heroes—some truly with special powers, and some we just think have special powers. As a society, we often give athletes interesting messages: on one hand, the rules don't necessarily apply to them, but on the other hand, any poor decision they make is put under such scrutiny and is guaranteed to make headline news.
• Be mindful of the judgments we automatically make of others. One of the lessons I have learned as a psychologist is that we often have very little idea about what goes on in the lives of others, and it is easy to make assumptions based on what we see at first glance. A discussion with school-aged children that encourages less "all or none" thinking, but explores the complexities and impact of our own behaviors and the behaviors of others teaches a better lesson. Before we judge or dehumanize someone else, it is important to remember that what we get to see may always be everything there is.
Remind your young people that even professional athletes are just like us—human—capable of making mistakes and poor choices as well—and that when we put other humans on a pedestal, we run the risk of disappointment. While it is sad and disappointing to watch your young ones lose faith in their heroes, like anything else, these are opportunities to have conversations, engage in important dialogue and teach "life lessons"…one of which may be how we define our "heroes" to start with.
Nyaka NiiLampti is an assistant professor of psychology at Queens University, and co-director of Mind Over Body at Southeast Psych.
