Sage Grows up Way too Fast

My little girl is growing up, and I don’t know how I feel about it. It started happening way too fast, last November, when she turned 5. Almost immediately things started to change. For example, instead of running around and playing in the mall play yard, Sage wanted to go shopping in clothes stores. Rubber ducks and toy boats in her bathtub became too babyish. She wanted to spread out and luxuriate in a bubble bath.

All of a sudden, makeup had to be applied on a daily basis, she wanted to brush her hair, and worst of all, she told us while blushing that she asked a boy to be her boyfriend! Oh, the humanity of it all. Sage is too young to be wearing makeup, shopping for clothes and having a b-b-b-boy fr-fr-fr-fr-fr … I can’t say it.

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to handle this? She is only 5. I’m not supposed to have to deal with this until she’s a teenager. At least that’s what I thought.

At least 2-year-old Brayden still wants to be held and cuddled 24/7. At least he still wakes up enough during the night that Charisse and I are reminded we are still in the early years of parenthood. Wait a minute, did I just act grateful for my lack of sleep? Things are getting weird, and it probably will only get stranger and harder.

Sage will be asking to borrow money to go to the movies with her friends (at least one I am sure will be a boy). Then she will want to borrow the keys to the car. Then we’re talking prom. I am getting woozy. I need Brayden to grow up fast so I can throw the football around with him.

Truth is, I understand what everyone means when they say kids grow up too fast. I just wish there was some way to fix things.

I know, we could always have more kids.

“Hi honey, you look extra beautiful tonight (with a gleam in my eye). What do you mean headache?”

Bruce Snyder is a longtime sportscaster who lives in Charlotte.