Putting On A Brave Face
Young kids are bereft of understanding when it comes to a stay-at-home-dad taking a day off.
Just like young kids don't really understand daylight savings time and tend to get up far too early come the Spring equinox, they're similarly bereft of understanding when it comes to dad taking a day off.
When you're staying at home with the Spawn of Your Loins, you're the man in charge. You are da man, man!
While you do get the thrill of being in charge, of being the one to bark out orders and expect to be obeyed (Of course, actually being obeyed is something that still belongs in the realm of fantasy), being the tallest person in the room no matter what room you walk into, that comes with certain responsibilities.
For one, considering you shouldn't trust any spawn to even tie her shoes correctly until she's at least 23, you can't actually ask your spawn to take care of herself when she's sick. That means it's up to you to take care of that.
No problem. It's what you signed up for, after all.
Along with that, you get the thrill of providing him with nourishment he needs to keep growing so he can eat more of your food to keep growing and eat more of your food. . . It's an endless, vicious cycle, dudes.
Depending on his age, you also get to pick out and put his clothes on him, no matter how much he whines and cries about what you want him to wear. You get to drive the thankless little git everywhere. It's like she can't even walk on her own without your help.
So, yeah. You've got a lot on your plate. Metaphorically as well as literally.
On your best day, it takes almost all you've got to get through and make sure you and your spawn come to the end of the day healthy, possibly happy, but certainly alive. And on your worst day?
Well, let's just say that the shuffling animate mortally challenged can often be better conversationalists, not to mention leaving you
in the dust when it comes to getting from Point A to, well, anywhere other than Point A.
Even when it feels like you couldn't get out of bed unless Godzilla himself strolled by and put a toe through your kitchen and fortuitously lifted your bed a good three feet into the air and let you land standing on your feet (In other words, really, really lucky) you still gotta get up and be da man.
When it's one of those days, there's only one thing you can do.
No. Not that.
Wrong kind of brave face.
I mean it's time to suck it up and show why dads deserve every single acting Oscar every single time they're offered for every single category. You don't fake it until you make it. No, all you gotta do is fake it until nap time. That's when you collapse and get the rest you so desperately need.
Who cares if your spawn is 14 and doesn't need a nap? Nap times are for everyone.
It's the rough days, those days when you wish you could call in sick and hope for the best with a malevolent boss, that you are how you pay for the good ones. They don't come along as often as the good days, thank goodness. The thing is, though, they make up for the lack of numbers with the weight of the whole thing.
I've been a bit under the weather the last little while.
It wasn't that obvious, right?
