New Year’s Resolutions

December 28, 2011

Bruce Snyder,

Happy New Year. Hope your holidays were awesome. We’ve been busy in the Snyder household with three birthdays having come and gone.

Sage is now 4, Brayden is now 1, and I’m now so old it’s too high to count. I spoke with the kids, and we’ve come up with some New Year’s resolutions.

Bruce – I’ll try not to watch Sports 24-7. (Well, that resolution lasted 10 seconds.)

Brayden – I’ll try not to spit up on dad anymore unless a Panthers game is really making me ill.

Sage – I’ll try to not scream at the top of my lungs unless a NASCAR race is really making me ill.

Bruce – I’ll try to be a better person, on and off the tube.

Brayden – I’ll try NOT to break the door off the entertainment center (even though all the really good toys are behind it).

Sage – I’ll try not to throw food on the floor anymore … well, at least food that Mommy makes, because it’s yummy. (The stuff daddy tries to put together deserves to be fed to the ducks at Freedom Park. Then again, I like the ducks. I know, I’ll give them Mommy’s food and sneak Daddy’s food to Brayden.)

Bruce – I promise not to play football in the house, unless the kids let me be the Packers.

Brayden – I promise to let Daddy be the Packers.

Sage – I promise to let Daddy win.

Bruce – I will get my articles to Charlotte Parent magazine on time.

Brayden – I will not use Charlotte Parent magazine as tissue paper.

Sage – I will force Daddy to get new pictures of Brayden and me into Charlotte Parent magazine.

Bruce – I will let my beautiful wife sleep in late at least twice a week.

Brayden – I will scream at 3:15 a.m. at least twice a week.

Sage – I will insist on watching Nick Jr. instead of what the adults want, all but twice a week.

Bruce – I will try and lose 15 more pounds.

Brayden – I will try and gain 15 more pounds.

Sage – I will learn the meaning of the phrase, 15 more pounds.