Advice For Parents From Kids — Part 2
Kids reveal valuable information when answering parents' questions and concerns.
Do you ever wonder how to get your kids off their phones? Or, what to do if your child is being bullied but they don't want you to do anything about it? Kids ages 12-18 answered these questions and more in this month's "From a Kids' Perspective" survey to help you, our parents, better understand us.
Q: How do I get my kids to stop being on their phones so much?
Kids don’t want you to take their phone away, or set time limits, instead, most kids just want you to tell us nicely to put the phone away and have a set consequence if we don’t comply the first time you ask.
Q: If my child is being bullied at school, but my child doesn't want me to tell anyone, what should I do?
Over 70 percent of kids said they want their parents to tell them how to handle the bully on our own and encourage us to do something about it. Telling us not to worry about it doesn’t work, and please do NOT talk to the kid’s parents if we ask you not to.
If you go to the school, or deliberately interfere when we don't want you to, it will only make us not want to tell you anything in the future.
Q: How can I stop fighting with my teens so much?
Sixty-two percent of kids want their parents to talk with them, not at them. Instead of having an argument or getting lectured, we want to be able to make compromises and discuss problems like adults.
If our parents can try and see things from our point of view, and listen to us when we are voicing concerns, it will make up more likely to come talk to you in the future.
Q: How do I get my kids to clean up after themselves around the house without nagging?
About 55 percent of kids agree that the best way to get us to clean up after ourselves, is give us an ultimatum. For example, we aren't allowed to hang out with friends until our room is clean, or our chores have been completed. Also, in addition to this incentive, making the consequences known of what will happen if we do not clean up after ourselves is effective as well.
Q: How can I help my kids deal with body image issues if they are unhappy with how they look?
The top three responses from kids were as follows:
- Help us do something to fix the problem, like helping us keep up with a diet or encouraging us to be active each day.
- Say and do re-assuring things to make us feel good about the way we look like helping us feel comfortable in our own skin and encouraging us to appreciate and love our bodies just the way they are
- One respondent wrote in that her mom has made her feel self conscious from a very young age, and now that she is older, she struggles with body image issues. With this example in mind, parents should steer clear and be very mindful of comments that could potentially alter the way a young, impressionable child feels about themselves. Comments like, "Are you sure you want a second serving?" or "You need to put some meat on those bones!" can be very hurtful for an adolescent boy or girl who may already be dealing with self-confidence issues.
If you have any questions about your kids, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will include your question in Part 3 next month. Thank you!
To read past FKP surveys, or to have kids ages 12-18 participate in future surveys, go to my NEW website emmahusk.com.