Why Parents Should Not Overshare Photos on Social Media


Published:

All those photos shared on social media may be taking away some of the special meaning behind the moments.

YOUR 6-YEAR-OLD SON made you the sweetest Mother’s Day card. Your teen scored the winning soccer goal. Your daughter just turned 11. You want to share pictures of these events and accomplishments. No harm, right? Consider this: the average child has had 1,500 pictures posted online by parents before the age of 5. You mean no harm, but when you publicly share photos, you reduce the benefits of your family’s special private times and traditions, and it may hurt your child.

 

Why Privacy Really Matters to Kids

Relationship. “When parents over post, I believe it changes the nature of the parent-child relationship,” says Richard Freed, PhD, author of “Wired Child.” Parents go from experiencing moments of shared experiences with their children to focusing on perfect photos and videos for their life online.

“The phone replaces the more important high-fiving a child and looking them in the eye and saying ‘nice going’ when they performed well or learned to ride a bike. It leads kids to feeling that they are to perform rather than simply be who they are,” he says.

Attachment. Gordon Neufeld, PhD, makes a strong argument for building family attachment in his book “Hold on to Your Kids.” Your private family traditions, rituals and memories attach your child to your family. When you share those sacred moments, that attachment may weaken. 

Individuality. Privacy helps your child maintain autonomy and individuality. By middle school, children learn to define who they are partly by exercising power over information that is shared about themselves. They need to determine what they want to be known by in order to gain independence. 

Anxiety. Family privacy is really important to preserve. Wouldn’t it be strange if all of your work-related accomplishments (and failures) were randomly posted on social media by your boss? Feeling like they are the center of their parent’s world is stressful for kids.

“The more the kids feel like they are the center of their parent’s world, the more they feel the burden of their parent’s happiness,” says Dawn Woods, a Charlotte-area teen counselor. 

Trust and respect. Broadcasting private family moments can breach trust. Closely related to trust, your child needs to know you respect him even if you don’t see what’s wrong with posting his report card. Respect can be built by not sharing too much personal information about someone.

Modeling. If you send the message that it is OK for you to share photos of your kids, they may assume that it is OK for them to share photos of you on their social media. The Golden Rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) applies here.

 

How to Post Pictures of Your Kids

Even if you ask your child’s permission to post a photo, he wants to please you, so he will most likely say it is OK. When you get the itch to post, consider this:

* When in doubt, don’t post!

* Wait 48 hours to share. When given some time, you may decide it’s not so important after all to share those pictures.

* Be honest. If you are sharing your kids’ accomplishments to get “likes” or other forms of social applause for your parenting skills, resist.

* Determine what your social-media-free family events are: birthdays, family trips, etc.

* Print a digital scrapbook for your family instead. They will love it especially if you journal your family memories. 

* Consider a small private social media group for extended family only to share family photos.

* Think back to your childhood and ask yourself how you would feel if your parents posted every moment — the mundane, the momentous, the embarrassing — of your life. Keep those private family memories in photo albums and scrapbooks, and off social media.

Melanie Hempe is the founder of Families Managing Media. For more information, visit familiesmanagingmedia.com.

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About This Blog

Moms Managing Media

Balancing technology with childhood


Melanie_Hempe_Moms_Managing_Media

About Melanie Hempe

Melanie Hempe is the founder of Families Managing Media. She has coached hundreds of families on the effects of screen media use and has helped them achieve a healthier, more balanced media life. With a nursing degree from Emory University, Melanie draws upon her medical background to demystify the questions of why technology has such a strong grip on our kids and why it is replacing normal childhood activities. She offers busy parents easy-to-follow scientific information and practical solutions for children of all ages, as she stresses the importance of REAL life connections in a digital world.

Melanie and her husband, Chris are raising four children in a media balanced home – and have successfully replaced video games with sports, music, art and good manners and they have also done the impossible: they have kept social media and smartphones from controlling their kids.

Read all blog posts »

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July 2020

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Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free

Where:
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More information

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Website »

More information

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Cost: $6-$7, children 3 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
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1500 E. Garrison Blvd.
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More information

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Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Mint Museum Uptown
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View map »


Website »

More information

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Cost: Free

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Superior Play Systems
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View map »


Sponsor: USNWC
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Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free

Where:
Mint Museum Randolph
2730 Randolph Road
, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

Multiplied: Edition MAT and the Transformable Work of Art examines the rise of three-dimensional objects issued in editions, which emerged as an international phenomenon in the 1960s and 1970s.

Cost: $5-$9, children younger than 10 free

Where:
Bechtler Museum of Modern Art
420 S. Tryon St.
, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

The Things Come Apart exhibit reveals the inner workings of common, everyday items. Images explore how things are designed and how technology has evolved over time.

Cost: $6-$7, children 3 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Schiele Museum
1500 E. Garrison Blvd.
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View map »


Website »

More information

This exhibit explores the various aspects of walls, which includes the artistic, social, political and historical aspects, as well as the physical barriers like fences or sand berms. The space is...

Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Mint Museum Uptown
500 S. Tryon St.
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View map »


Website »

More information

Join us for our Pinkyswear Virtual Kids Triathlon event. This virtual event which kicks off formally on June 1st for all ages and abilities, and the triathlon can be completed anywhere! The...

Cost: $15

Where:
, NC


Sponsor: Pinkyswear Foundation
Contact Name: Valorie Liggett
Website »

More information

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Cost: $21-$31

Where:
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View map »


Website »

More information

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Cost: $11 for one hour

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DefyGravity Trampoline Park
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, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

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Cost: Free

Where:
The Billy Graham Library
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View map »


Sponsor: The Billy Graham Library
Website »

More information

Drop in for safe play on the equipment indoors.

Cost: $8, $10 on weekends and school holidays

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Superior Play Systems
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View map »


Website »

More information

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View map »


Website »

More information

Kids, are you ready to run off with the circus... for a week? Whether your child is ready to join the circus for the first time, or wants to push their circus skills to the next level. Our Aerial &...

Cost: 250

Where:
AerialCLT
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View map »


Sponsor: AerialCLT
Telephone: 980-292-1593
Contact Name: AerialCLT
Website »

More information

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More information

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Cost: $6 for parking

Where:
USNWC
5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.
, NC
View map »


Sponsor: USNWC
Website »

More information

This exhibition is the first to focus exclusively on the black basalt sculpture made by Josiah Wedgwood and other Staffordshire potters in late eighteenth-century England. 

Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free

Where:
Mint Museum Randolph
2730 Randolph Road
, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

Multiplied: Edition MAT and the Transformable Work of Art examines the rise of three-dimensional objects issued in editions, which emerged as an international phenomenon in the 1960s and 1970s.

Cost: $5-$9, children younger than 10 free

Where:
Bechtler Museum of Modern Art
420 S. Tryon St.
, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

The Things Come Apart exhibit reveals the inner workings of common, everyday items. Images explore how things are designed and how technology has evolved over time.

Cost: $6-$7, children 3 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Schiele Museum
1500 E. Garrison Blvd.
Gastonia, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

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Cost: $10-$40

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NarroWay Theatre
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View map »


Sponsor: NarroWay Productions
Telephone: 803-802-2300
Website »

More information

This exhibit explores the various aspects of walls, which includes the artistic, social, political and historical aspects, as well as the physical barriers like fences or sand berms. The space is...

Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Mint Museum Uptown
500 S. Tryon St.
, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

Join us for our Pinkyswear Virtual Kids Triathlon event. This virtual event which kicks off formally on June 1st for all ages and abilities, and the triathlon can be completed anywhere! The...

Cost: $15

Where:
, NC


Sponsor: Pinkyswear Foundation
Contact Name: Valorie Liggett
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

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George Beverly Shea and Cliff Barrows presented faith of Jesus Christ in song. Come discover the ways the Lord used their efforts and their music to open hearts around the world. Read inspiring...

Cost: Free

Where:
The Billy Graham Library
4330 Westmont Drive
, NC
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Sponsor: The Billy Graham Library
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On Saturdays and Sundays from noon-5pm, the arcade bar opens to all ages with a parent or guardian present.

Cost: Cost for games

Where:
Abari Game Bar
1721 N. Davidson St.
, NC
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Telephone: 980-430-4587
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Live the story of Stephen and the Apostles. Experience the rousing power of ANNO DOMINI: the year of our Lord while enjoying a Greek dinner.

Cost: $10-$40

Where:
NarroWay Theater
3327 Highway 51
Fort Mill, SC  29715
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Bring the family to hear live music in Davidson this summer! Dates: April 18, May 16, June 20, July 18, Aug. 15, Sept. 19 and Oct. 17.

Cost: Free

Where:
Circles at 30
Jetton Street
Davidson, NC
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River Jam brings live music outdoors, right in the middle of the world’s largest man-made whitewater river. Hear music on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, as well as during each of...

Cost: $6 for parking

Where:
USNWC
5000 Whitewater Center Pkwy.
, NC
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Sponsor: USNWC
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This exhibition is the first to focus exclusively on the black basalt sculpture made by Josiah Wedgwood and other Staffordshire potters in late eighteenth-century England. 

Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free

Where:
Mint Museum Randolph
2730 Randolph Road
, NC
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Multiplied: Edition MAT and the Transformable Work of Art examines the rise of three-dimensional objects issued in editions, which emerged as an international phenomenon in the 1960s and 1970s.

Cost: $5-$9, children younger than 10 free

Where:
Bechtler Museum of Modern Art
420 S. Tryon St.
, NC
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The Things Come Apart exhibit reveals the inner workings of common, everyday items. Images explore how things are designed and how technology has evolved over time.

Cost: $6-$7, children 3 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Schiele Museum
1500 E. Garrison Blvd.
Gastonia, NC
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See the original, Broadway-style dinner show, and experience the story of Stephen and the Apostles. See website for showtimes.

Cost: $10-$40

Where:
NarroWay Theatre
3327 Hwy 51
Fort Mill, SC
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Sponsor: NarroWay Productions
Telephone: 803-802-2300
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This exhibit explores the various aspects of walls, which includes the artistic, social, political and historical aspects, as well as the physical barriers like fences or sand berms. The space is...

Cost: $6-$15, children 4 and younger free, included with admission

Where:
Mint Museum Uptown
500 S. Tryon St.
, NC
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Join us for our Pinkyswear Virtual Kids Triathlon event. This virtual event which kicks off formally on June 1st for all ages and abilities, and the triathlon can be completed anywhere! The...

Cost: $15

Where:
, NC


Sponsor: Pinkyswear Foundation
Contact Name: Valorie Liggett
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Annual Guides

G.P.S. [Go.Play.See]

Your guide to raising kids in the Queen City, plus our 2019 Readers' Favorites for places to play, explore and learn with the kids.

Education Guide

A comprehensive guide to independent, private, charter and public schools in Cabarrus, Gaston, Iredell, Lincoln, Mecklenburg, Union and York counties.
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